5 Observations by Laura Cadman
by drewandian
Summary: Cadman observes the senior staff.  Written for the sga lfws tourney.


The first impressions of the senior staff, as observed by Lt. Laura Cadman, USMC.

I've always loved that I get to meet so many new people in my career. Every new station introduces a whole new "family" of people into my life and I cherish those experiences, both the good and the bad.

I have to admit though, that I've never met anyone quite like the individuals who make up the senior staff of the Atlantis Expedition.

**Drs. Rodney McKay and Carson Beckett**

I'm pretty sure Rodney is the most interesting person I've ever met, not only in Atlantis, but in my entire life. Having _literally_ been in his head, I think I have a pretty good idea of what makes him so uniquely _him_.

Lots of people find Rodney abrasive and obnoxious. I can't say that I disagree, at least not entirely, but I've gotten some insight on why. He's scared. He's terrified that he'll let people in, care about them, and then he'll lose them, just as he's lost his parents and his sister. So, instead of taking chances and letting people in, he's put up walls and using his intelligence to keep everyone at arm's length.

It seems the only person, other than his team and Dr. Weir, who has really gotten past those walls, is Dr. Beckett. Carson pushes Rodney's buttons in ways that make it seem like an art form. It truly is a gift of his. And Rodney rises to the bait EVERY single time.

I didn't spend a lot of time in Atlantis, but in the time I spent there, I got to witness more than one time that Carson managed to get under Rodney's skin and get him to admit that he cared more than said he did.

They bicker like brothers, although Rodney will never admit to actually feeling anything more than tolerance and disdain for Carson and his "science". More than once they've argued over who is going to put their life on the line for the expedition, neither wanting to risk the other.

They hide behind experience and knowledge and the superiority of their science, but really it's their concern for and love of one another that makes them do it.

Now if I could just get them to get over the fact that I made Rodney kiss Carson…

**Dr. Elizabeth Weir**

Dr. Weir and I couldn't be any more different if we tried. She's a diplomat, a negotiator, anti-weapons…I could go on. I'm an explosives expert, a career Marine, a scientist. I had always questioned the wisdom of having a civilian lead the Atlantis expedition, but recently found that I may have been a bit off base about that.

I've seen quite a few crises handled by military commanders; I've witnessed a handful of interrogations handled by the military.

They don't hold a candle to what I watched Dr. Weir do.

I've always known her to keep a clear and level head when it comes to crises. I've admired that in her; I tend to be a bit of a firecracker. I explode then have to talk myself out of the messes I've created. She's always managed to stay calm and cool and diffuse situations before they become out of hand.

Then we learned that there was a bomb in Atlantis – and that it was most likely planted by a member of the expedition.

And Rodney accused me – I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I am an explosives expert and was supposed to head back to Earth with the Daedalus after all. But really! Me! I know he's still uncomfortable about the whole me-in-his-brain thing, but that's really no reason to suspect me of planting a bomb in Atlantis, is it?

Thankfully, Dr. Weir did know better than that and continued to interrogate other members of the expedition. Or one member in particular, anyway.

I wasn't in Atlantis during the infamous initial showdown between Dr. Weir and Dr. Kavanagh, but everyone has heard some version of it. So it was no surprise to me – or anyone else I'm sure – that he was her prime suspect.

Seeing Dr. Elizabeth Weir in her element, interrogating Kavanagh, was a sight to behold. She was cold, ruthless, focused – almost to a fault.

I watched on silently as the scenes unfolded before me; first the simple interrogation, then the veiled threats, finally culminating in sending Ronon in to get the information they thought Kavanagh was holding back.

At first she was diplomatic as ever; there was nothing shocking or surprising about how she handled things with Kavanagh. I'd seen her question people in briefings the same way she was questioning Kavanagh. He made some rather gutsy accusations toward her and she took them in stride, never losing her cool.

But, as time went on and things became more critical – as she continued to question people and kept getting the same impression of Kavanagh's guilt from each of them – the more she started to seem almost desperate to prove his guilt. Most people didn't even notice – although I'm sure her senior staff did. Being in the control room for the better part of the incident, I saw her gradually unravel. Her single-mindedness was almost her undoing.

The Wraith ships' approach was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, in my opinion. I understood her desperation – Atlantis is _her_ city, the crew her family. I couldn't help but be surprised by her "by any means necessary" approach to getting the information she thought Kavanagh was keeping from her. It wasn't like her; I always expected her to simply rely on negotiation to get what she wanted from people. Learning that she'd given Ronon the order to do whatever it took to get the code from Kavanagh shocked me.

As I went over the communications manifest, I glanced at Dr. Weir; she was in her office, clearly agonizing over the decision she'd made. She seemed to be warring with herself, the leader vs. the humanitarian, and I'm not sure who would have won that war. I'm thankful I'd found the information about Col. Caldwell before things had gotten completely out of hand.

I'm sure Dr. Weir will spend a lot of time thinking about this particular crisis. It really was the first – and quite possibly the only - time I've ever seen her compromise her principles. I know she feels that the decisions she made and the orders she gave make her no better than the Wraith with all of their in-fighting; her concern, the fact that she _knows___she compromised herself, in my opinion, makes all the difference.

**Lt. Col. John Sheppard**

Col. Sheppard is unlike any CO I've ever known. It's become common knowledge that Col. Caldwell was expecting to be made the military CO of Atlantis when Col. Sumner was killed, and that he was less than pleased, to say the least, when Dr. Weir insisted upon keeping Col. Sheppard onboard in that capacity – even if it meant pushing through a promotion for him.

I don't mean to imply that he didn't earn or deserve that promotion, but even he's said that no one really expected him to rise through the ranks very far. And being given his own command was a dream I don't think he ever dared seriously considering.

He's an amazing leader. He's fair, he holds his soldiers accountable for any and all decisions that they make, but he doesn't condemn them for going with their gut instincts. He encourages us all to think outside of the box and is realistic about the fact that we _are_ in another galaxy and our tried and true methods may not always be the most effective.

He will put his life on the line for any one of the members of the expedition and is especially protective of Atlantis's senior staff. He leads with integrity and passion, and I hope to someday learn to lead as he does.

**Teyla Emmagen**

The first individual from the Pegasus Galaxy to leave her people to work with the expedition to protect Atlantis from the Wraith, Teyla is a formidable warrior deceivingly packed into a petite and graceful body. Having been the leader of her own people for so long, she brought a vast amount of knowledge and strategy to the expedition.

She also struggles with her decision to leave her people and her role as leader to fight with us.

You don't notice it unless you know Teyla well. At first I hadn't any idea of just how torn she felt at times, but as I got to know her it became clear to me just how hard leaving the Athosians and joining the expedition members truly was for her.

She possesses a strength that I envy; not only her physical strength but her spiritual strength as well. She trusts herself and her beliefs; they are what carry her through.

She's integrated herself into the population of Atlantis well, and has found ways to improve the way we approach situations. Col. Sheppard respects and reveres her opinions and views and that respect has rippled through the majority of the members of the expedition.

I could learn a few things from Teyla; how to find an inner peace, how to better approach tense situations, how to lead my own people.

**Ronon Dex**

I've known quite a few Marines who were like Ronon. Big, bulky, more interested in shooting than talking. But Ronon has a gentle soul. And he's smart – a lot smarter than most of the big lugs I've trained and served with.

I understand his focus on picking off the Wraith one by one. Not only did they take his entire life – existence – from him, they made him a runner. They used him for their own personal games. Made a sport of chasing him down, capturing him and setting him free.

I'd want them eradicated too.

From what I understand, a lot of people were very intimidated by him when he first arrived in Atlantis and even Dr. Weir had her reservations about inviting him to join Col. Sheppard's team. And believe me, I can see why.

He's proven, however, that there's a good and gentle soul beneath that rough exterior. You can see the loss he's suffered lurking deep in his eyes. He tries to hide it but I've caught him off guard a few times and it's there, just beneath the surface. And it's heartbreaking.

Being a part of a team hasn't been easy for him; it's hard for him to trust anyone after all he's been through, but he's finding ways to make it work. He understands the stakes and I believe he's found a family to fill the void the Wraith cullings had left in his life.

I'd be proud to serve with him; he fights with honor; he has a passion for justice that rivals any other I've seen. I hope that someday he'll finally be at peace and be happy.


End file.
